Can Celebrities Actually Have Enduring, Healthy Relationships?
By Amy Osmond Cook, Ph.D.
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images North America
Cheating. Scandal. Divorce. Too often, celebrity relationships end as a result of one of these unfortunate scenarios. Just this summer, George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis, J.Lo and Marc Anthony, Derek Jeeter and Minka Kelly, and Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez called it quits. Even Buzz Aldrin and his wife of 23 years couldn’t make it last.
As celebrity breakups continue to provide headlines for the supermarket tabloids, we are sometimes left wondering, “Does anyone stay together, anymore?”
Fortunately, the answer is “yes.” Celebrities who take “for better or worse” seriously may not make the headlines, but they are out there. Two of those people are my aunt and uncle, Donny and Debbie Osmond.
Donny and Debbie were married in 1978 and have survived the highs and lows of show business together for 33 years. I asked Debbie how she and Donny have made their relationship last when so many have failed. In characteristic humility, she credits God and her family for helping to keep their relationship strong. But she also has a few practical tips:
Keep the Pressure Low.
Donny is a perfectionist and rues over a single note gone awry. While he was performing in Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat on Broadway, he was struggling with considerable anxiety. Debbie eased his stress by keeping the pressure low. Every afternoon as he left for work, she would say, “Go have an average night, tonight.” She made him feel valued as a person apart from his performance on stage; and as a result, their relationship and his vocals were both stellar.
Keep Your Personal Life Private.
Sometimes celebrities (like everyone else) allow work to consume them. As Debbie said, “The business can really take over your life if you allow it to. I enjoy having my family away from Hollywood so Donny can come home to a bit of reality, like enjoying the kids’ school activities, hiking, and just being a father. It helps everyone feel like show business is not our life, but just a job.”
Love the High-Tech Communication.
When Donny is away, he and Debbie constantly talk via phone or webcam. As Debbie says, “I love Skype! We laugh because we have a virtual dad!” It helps Donny, Debbie, and the kids and grandkids to feel connected when they can see and hear each other every day.
Unfortunately, there is no magical recipe for making a relationship 100-percent breakup-proof. But there are many celebrities who continue to keep their relationships strong—it’s just that we may not hear about them very often. Regardless of whether we are actors or actuaries, keeping the pressure low, guarding our personal lives, and utilizing technology to communicate are great practical tips that we can all use to make our relationships strong.
Amy Osmond Cook, Ph.D. is a faculty associate at Arizona State University, where she teaches Communication and English classes. She is the publisher of Sourced Media Books and co-author of Hope After Divorce and Full Bloom: Cultivating Success. Amy and her husband, Jeff, have five children and look forward to welcoming baby #6 in April 2012. For more information about Amy, please visit amyosmondcook.com.
CLICK HERE to view the original article at Cupid's Pulse.
6 comments:
I've not posted in soooo long! I've enjoyed catching up this weekend! I enjoyed Amy's article above also! Debbie is to commended for keeping she and Donny's marriage strong!
Exciting Amy news too!! Congrats! Hope your doing well Kathy! Have a great week! :)
Congrats to the two of them, 33 years is a long time. It does get tiring hearing about celebrity marriages that are failing, I mean when I hear a celebrity is getting married - it is like "I wonder how long this one will last?". It's sad to see SO many marriages ending these days, I have friends and family who have been through divorce and it is hard, heart wrenching at times. It is always nice to hear about ones that work!!! I'm working on 31 years with my husband! I, as well, give God credit for being there in our marriage - we made a commitment to Him - as well as each other, to stay together.
Good article Amy!!! Congrats to you and Jeff on #6, WOW!!! Another Congrats to Donny and Deb!!!
Amy thank you for this very interesting article and to Debbie and Donny in the spotlight. This is a wonderful couple who is a good example especially in the world of show businness where it can be more difficult to maintain a married life. I think Debbie is a wonderful person, beautiful, sweet, quiet and she knows Donny ease, give him a family life full of serenity, love, when he returns home to find it a haven and allows it to unwind from the hectic life of show business. Donny is also a very caring, very attentive (I was fortunate to meet him and I immediately felt that way) and he knows how to enjoy family life when not working and knows how Debbie is amazing. As Donny has often said Debbie was his "best friend" before he married. It's true that nowadays there are many divorce and especially in show business, where the temptations are great. I think the problem today is that couples are less effort: it will not ..... we separate In your family there are beautiful couples and is wonderful. I have been married 29 years with my childhood friend!
Congratulations Donny and Debbie
Hugs
Cathy
Great article, Amy. Job well done.
I always told myself, " These Osmonds are awesome!! The husbands comes home and its all about family time..not just, " Oh, so and so wanted to have a picture and a kiss with me." That how it should be. When your home, its about their wives and children and not show biz talk.
I love how Donny and Debbie learn how to stay connected when Donny is away. GOD BLESS for Skype as Debbie said. Families should always come first.
I have been told I don't understand moment and how important it is...BUT I DO!! Jobs are important, it pays for our clothes, a roof over heads, bills....I know that..Jay mentioned that at the first concert I went too when he talked about how he and his brothers were going to continue to tour. But families are and should be number one priority and that should be a given. As I said, I know jobs are important because its money, but at the end of the day, your family are too.
I could go on and on. But I love what Debbie said.
Kathy, you already know how much love and respect I have for this family. I love how
Not just Donny & Debbie though is it Kathy & Wayne :)
Love the article! I also wanted to mention that it was because of Donny and Debbie that I joined the LDS church many years ago. Actually it was the whole Osmond family, but particularly Donny and Debbie that I became a fan of while in college in the late 70's and was impressed by their example. I knew that the Osmonds didn't drink or smoke or swear, etc. and I had to find out what was behind their beliefs. This was all so new to me and nobody in my family was LDS. I sent away for a copy of the Book of Mormon through the Osmond fan club and read it, but I still wanted to know more about the doctrines of the Church, what made it different. We did not have the Internet back then and I had a hard time finding anything about Mormons. Finally I found "A Marvelous Work and a Wonder" by LeGrand Richards in our public library. I read and studied it for over a year, ponderd and prayed, went to church with some LDS friends to see if what I had read was true in real life, and then asked them how to get baptized. Their jaws dropped--they hadn't known how much I had studied about the church! But they sent the sister missionaries over and I took the lessons (which were really just a review for me) and I was baptised early 1981 when my first son was 6 weeks old. He has since served a mission and is married with a family. My husband and other son are not members (my husband was surprised at my joining the church at first but now he is supportive). Anyway, I will always thank Donny and Debbie and the Osmond family for their great example which led me to joining the church. I can't imagine being a member of any other church!
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