XOXO: My Wife Talks Too Much
Question: My wife talks incessantly when I arrive home from work, and I'm tired. What can I do?
Amy:
Since I'm the talker of the family, I asked my husband if he had any tips. "I don't know," was his response. "I've failed." And don't you know he's right!
As a woman who needs a lot of communication in her relationships (I'm a Communications major after all), I need to talk like I need to eat. Just knowing that about your wife can make a difference. You certainly wouldn't want her to go without eating, would you? So get in there, fill up her emotional bucket with words of affirmation, and watch where it takes you!
Kathy:
My husband is more verbal than I am, so I understand your predicament. Sometimes, you just need some peace and quiet. But here are a few tips that have helped me over the years.
Understanding
There's a reason why your wife talks incessantly. Is she spending too much time alone? Does she have low self-esteem? Or are you not listening to her, so she keeps telling you the same thing over and over? Identifying the source of her chattiness can help you to understand her needs better.
Responsiveness
Sometimes it really is quality, not quantity. Are you communicating (either verbally or nonverbally) that you're not interested? If so, try the opposite approach. Make an effort to look into her eyes, smile, give her a hug, etc. She'll probably be so shocked that she'll stop talking long enough for you to get a word in edgewise...or make a bee-line for the TV.
Practice communicating regularly
Set aside specific times to talk, and spend the first session telling your wife how much you appreciate her. When she feels valued, she will be more interested in asking about your life, too.
If all else fails, then go see a therapist!
Amy went to see one for a couple of years and had a very positive experience. Now she thinks that every couple should go!
Good luck with the incessant talking, and let us know how it goes!
Xoxo
1 comment:
Wow that's the oldest joke in the book "my wife talks too much". But seriously when my late husband was at work all day and I was at home with small children, I needed adult conversation and sometimes he use to say "I'm tired can't you stop talking for a while". It wasn't until he had to stop work through ill health and take care of the children that he appreciated that I needed to talk to an adult other than the children (I never told him to stop talking). It is a very interesting subject and people who are at work all day do not appreciate the poor housewife who doesn't always get the stimulation of the adult world looking after children all day. Kathy and Amy I love the topics you write about, keep it up.
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