XOXO: Workaholic Husband

Please CLICK HERE to read the article on what to do with a workaholic husband. If you like Amy and my advice, click on the stars under the article. Thank you so much for all your support in our writing endeavors.

Trafalgar and Other Fun

Chillin' and Grillin'

Customize a

Stairway to Heaven

Greg, Kaylynn, Oscar and Adelaide came to visit this week. Greg finished the "Stairway to Heaven" for Wayne today! Thank you to all the family that contributed and helped to complete Wayne's project for him. Maybe Wayne can relax now that it is finished.

Little Red Riding Hood

Wayne and I had the gratifying experience of watching our granddaughter, Aili, in her school musical, "Little Red Riding Hood." Aili was little red riding hood's mother. Not only is Aili a talented actress but also has a beautiful singing voice. It brought back a lot of memories too.

When her dad, Steve, was in the 3rd grade, he was in a different musical but was also based on the story of "Little Red Riding Hood." He played the Big Bad Wolf in his 3rd grade musical. Steve has a really strong singing voice and  did a great job as the Big, Bad Wolf. Daughter like father. We need to find the video of Steve to show to Aili. I know that she'd love viewing it.

Jay Remembers Wayne on Mother's Day

My Wonderful Mother

Jay Visits on Mother's Day

Jenny's Beautiful Drawing for Me on Mother's Day.

Jenny's Mother's Day Card for Me.

Aili Trying to Finish the Puzzle

Emma and Daddy

Beautiful Elyssa

The Grandsons Posing

My dad loves his photo taken! Not!

Sarah came to visit on Mother's Day.

Joe Relaxing After Dinner

The dinner was delicious Michelle! Thank you!

Steve inherited Wayne's Muscles

XOXO: Advise With Kathy and Amy

Please Go to LA Family.com and click on "LIKE" under the article if you enjoy it. Thank you so much from Kathy and Amy!

XOXO: My Adult Son Smokes & Drinks

My adult son enjoys drinking and smoking, and myhusband and I do not. We don't condemn him for those activities but are concerned that he is damaging his health. Because he knows our feelings about the subject, he doesn't want to spend time with us anymore—and that hurts. Is there anything we can do about it?

Kathy:

Show unconditional love.

You love your son unconditionally. But if you haven't done so already, make sure to express it. Let him know that no matter what he does, you are always going to love him.

Ask questions.

There is always a reason that someone begins a bad habit—there is a payoff of some sort, even if it's only temporary relief. Could he have a possible health problem that he is trying to cope with, or an emotional trauma that he is trying to forget? By asking questions, you can understand him better. He'll appreciate it, and you might be able to help him come up with some solutions.

Invite.

Plan and invite your son to family activities. Ask him how you can help him feel more comfortable spending time together. Ask for his input on activities, and see if he'll help you plan something. If he's not willing to come or participate, always let him know he is missed.

Never give up, even if he doesn't reciprocate.

You will always be his parents, and no one cares more about his welfare and future as much as you do. Even if your son doesn't agree with you right now, it doesn't mean that his opinion and behavior won't change in the future. Be patient.

--

Amy:

It's clear that you have your son's best interests in mind, and I'll bet he knows that, too. It's possible that your son's reticence to spend time with you is not a sign of rejection (which is probably what it feels like) but a sign of respect.

Like any mother and daughter, my mom and I think differently about some things—and I try to avoid certain topics because I don't want her to worry. For example, like many busy moms, I sometimes operate on very little sleep. My mom doesn't approve and tells me repeatedly that my health is going to suffer. Deep down I know she's right, but I have decided that I would rather get things done that I want to do than sleep eight hours. So, I try to avoid talking about my unhealthy sleeping habits (and don't email her when she thinks I should be asleep).

If there's one thing that is universal, it's that children love their parents. So be assured that no matter how disrespectful or disengaged he is, he wants to be connected to you.

By showing unconditional love for your son and reminding yourself that he loves you, too, you have a good chance of slowly but surely reconnecting with him. Best of luck, and let us know how it goes!

xoxo

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Thanks Laura for sharing!

Michelle's New Website!

Our daughter, Michelle, has a new website. I know that you are all going to love it! She is posting all kinds of clever ideas, tips and hobbies. Check out her darling gift idea and please leave a comment! She'd love it! There is also contact information if you have an idea for her website. Thank you for all your support! Love, Kathy

CLICK HERE TO GO DIRECTLY TO BUMBLEBERRY LANE

Guest Bloggers Wanted!

XOXO: My Husband is Messy

My husband is so messy. It seems like all I do is pick up and put his belongings away when I'm cleaning the house. How can I get him to put his things away without always nagging him?

Kathy: My husband is fantastic, but he's messy too! Here are some things I have tried that work well. He'll never be a neat freak, but we manage to keep our house relatively clean.

Positive reinforcement. 

Compliment your husband on the qualities that you admire. Let your husband know how much you would appreciate him putting his things away. When you see him putting something away or hanging up his clothes instead of throwing them on the floor, let him know how much this means to you.

Keep it contained.

If he can't keep from being messy, try to keep it within a particular area in the house. Perhaps he can keep his mess in a large closet or room, so you don't have to see it. Even a corner of your bedroom is better than the entire house. Find solutions that you can both live with.

Put things in perspective.

If your worst pet peeve is his mess around the house, then concentrate on how much you appreciate his other great qualities. There are many things that are so much worse than a messy husband. 

Look inward.

Chances are, there is something you do that bugs your husband. Do you forget to put the cap on the toothpaste after you use it? Do you roll the toilet paper the wrong way?  Perhaps he'll see your efforts, appreciate them, and try harder to pick up his things.

Amy: Mom, these are great points! My husband can be messy, too, and I use all four of your points frequently. It reminds me of a true story I read not long ago:

"My husband and I had been married about two years—just long enough for me to realize that he was a normal man rather than a knight on a white charger—when I read a magazine article recommending that married couples schedule regular talks to discuss, truthfully and candidly, the habits or mannerisms they find annoying in each other. The theory was that if the partners knew of such annoyances, they could correct them before resentful feelings developed.

"It made sense to me. I talked with my husband about the idea. After some hesitation, he agreed to give it a try.

"As I recall, we were to name five things we found annoying, and I started off. After more than 50 years, I remember only my first complaint: grapefruit. I told him that I didn't like the way he ate grapefruit. He peeled it and ate it like an orange! Nobody else I knew ate grapefruit like that. Could a girl be expected to spend a lifetime, and even eternity, watching her husband eat grapefruit like an orange? Although I have forgotten them, I'm sure the rest of my complaints were similar.

"After I finished, it was his turn to tell the things he disliked about me. Though it has been more than half a century, I still carry a mental image of my husband's handsome young face as he gathered his brows together in a thoughtful, puzzled frown and then looked at me with his large blue-gray eyes and said, "Well, to tell the truth, I can't think of anything I don't like about you, Honey."

By avoiding "the grapefruit syndrome," we'll be able to better keep our relationships strong and focused on the positive things about our husbands. In return, we'll either see a change in their messy behavior, or it will bother us less!

Xoxo Kathy and Amy

Guest Bloggers are wanted for Lafamily.com!


If you are interested, please send your submission about marriage and/or family to: editor@lafamily.com


Thank you!

"Music to Our Ears"

Wonky's Blog

"As I've gotten older, since I had my stroke, I have become more reflective of my past. I don't know if this would be very interesting to anyone but I'd like to air my thoughts and feelings to whomever might be interested. I'll begin with one of my favorite memories. In 1963 my little brother, Jimmy was born and when my mother brought him home from the hospital, I was the first sibling to see and hold him. A few years later I found out that he was left handed like I am. Because of that initial bonding I always felt really close to him."
Wonky

 As you noticed above Wayne wants to start his own blog so I'm going to set one up for him tonight and he wants to put a little on it every day. I hope that you will all be supportive or he'll probably quit. His attention span isn't too long so they will probably be short entries every day. We've been trying to get him to reminisce about his past and this is the first time that he has decided to do it. Hope you'll all join Wonky's Blog so you can ask questions and interact with him. Love, Kathy

CLICK HERE to go directly to Wayne's new blog!

To My Wonderful Mother!

KUTV :: News - Top Stories - Exclusive: Backstage With The Osmond Family

KUTV :: News - Top Stories - Exclusive: Backstage With The Osmond Family

XOXO Advice With Kathy and Amy

Please CLICK HERE to go directly to the article on LAfamily.com and click "LIKE" if you enjoy the article. The editor would really appreciate it and so would we!

THANK  YOU SO MUCH!!!

XOXO: Controlling Fiance

My sister is getting married in a month, and I am really worried about her. Recently I have seen a lot of red flags in their relationship and notice how controlling her fiancé is. What should I do? Should I tell her how I feel?

Amy:

It's difficult to watch someone you love make a bad relationship decision, but sometimes that's exactly what you should do. That said, controlling behavior is a huge red flag.

To decide whether to voice your concerns, assess the severity of the situation. You'd never stand by and watch your sister put her hand on a hot stove—you'd warn her of the danger. But you also want to show your sister that you trust her to make good decisions. You'd also never want to jeopardize a relationship that could bring her lasting happiness just because you think he smells funny.

If you decide that your sister is in danger of getting burned, Mom has some great advice on how to approach the situation.

Kathy:

I can't think of a more difficult conversation to have with your sister. But the following six points can help you make it more manageable.

Find a good time.

They say timing is everything, and it's not far from the truth. Pick a time and place when you and your sister can talk privately. Maybe you could take her to lunch or go shopping together.

Express your feelings for her.

Let her know that you love her and really want her to be happy. Ask her how everything is going and about her future plans. Offer to help.

Start with the good.

Help her open up about her fiance by discussing some of the positive qualities that you have noticed about him and their relationship. There must be some, or she wouldn't want to spend her life with him.

Express your concerns.

If your sister doesn't express any concerns, you might ask her if she has any. Chances are that she has noticed her fiance's controlling behavior, too. If not, be ready to back up your concerns with specific examples and use hedging words like "from my perspective" to soften the tone.

Really listen.

Now that you've expressed your concerns, listen carefully to your sister. She may ask you for help and advice, and she may not. The point is that she has now heard your concerns. Now, it's your turn to listen to her point of view.

Respect her decision and relax.

You have made your sister aware of your concerns, so there's no need to bring it up again. If she can live with her fiance's shortcomings, then that's her decision. You just wanted to make sure that her love wasn't blind.

If your sister is in danger of getting hurt, she'll be glad you told her the truth in the long run. But once you do, sit back, accept things as they are, and enjoy your slice of wedding cake.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

xoxo

Kathy and Amy